Saturday, April 18
Meducate
Wednesday, April 8
Clashing Kingdoms
Fabulous lab medicine and physiology lectures today. 8 am, Dr Sailer walks in dressed in his nice white polo.... that he tie dyed! He also said something quite spectacular, that though resonates with me I cant seem to recall. And Lab med- who knew urine samples could reveal yeasts "so beautiful you want to make wall paper out of them and plaster your house in it"
In a battle of my own. and loosing. Reached out for an allie. And still I am consumed by my own demons. cryptic and disgusting. I know. I know. I know better. I just wish it wouldn't hurt. Tired of it.
locke vs rousseau
A friend in france recieved a postcard today that was short of the postage needed to pay its way from new mexico to Avignon. But it made it.
Linsey has left her bike unlocked at the school 3 days this week, and each afternoon when she returned to ride it home, there it was waiting for her.
We applaud and praise eachothers efforts, we congratulate those we havent spoken to in years, we give correct change, and return lost cell phones. We smile to eachother on the street.
All the dark in the world can not put out a single light.
I genuinely believe people are inherently good. I have faith in the individual, compassion, and human understanding. I understand the denaturing effect of power, greed, and despiration. We all need to servive. And while those things will always exhist, I still believe people are good.
Ria would always get stoked on the little things, like how no one stole bikes off the front of buses, or how when she left her car unlocked with the windows down, she got a coke and a giant stick. I'm pretty dang stoked on it too.
Dont get me wrong, I have had a wallet stolen out of my apartment, a man break into my house on multiple occasions, a car stolen, and just on a human level been made to feel inferior. I have reason to doubt- but I dont. Because I dont want to. I like having faith. As immature as my outlook has been attacked to be- I believe that people are good.
Monday, April 6
And thats the answer that got you into medical school.
I didnt say this during my interview- frankly because it didnt fully hit me until now why this is so important to me.
One of my professors in the very first week told us he was going to teach us to be more than ordinary. That people come to the doctor for healing powers because when feeling physically weak and out of control and you dont want joe the plumber; you want someone with a little bit of magic in their pocket. I want to learn that magic.
Ultimately I want to teach, but not before I am hardened by years of experience and perspective and legitimacy to bring to the classroom.
Today was good. Long. strange schedules three days of long one short and three off. I think I will start volunteering at planned parenthood again. I am getting restless.
grabbed a scoop of ice cream and walked clear across town in my cowboy boots to the UNM library during my break. walked back bare foot. what an interesting phenomenon, responses you get to approaching the world shoeless. A man in a golf cart offered me a ride. and the dude outside the coffee shop applauded me, while the rest staired in either understanding as they saw my still to be broken in red leather cowgirl boots hanging stiffly in my left hand, and others in disapproval.
I am sitting in the second row again. second to the back that is. well second to the front as well. The entire weeks meals have been deposited in the fridge at school. lunches and dinners. salads. beans and rice.
Class is going to be alright though. crazy funny epidemiology teacher who dresses like a train conductor and is a "B-string surgeon" in Nigeria. I would like to go there and help.
Sometimes I am a bit nervous that I am going to have to make big time choices, I am nervous that what I kinda do want will be put on the back burner. torn between amazing opportunities.
The fortune cookie today read "It is never crowded on the extra mile" that's a nice one.
happy trails. need to become a gym junkie.
Sunday, April 5
Shiney new quarter
So lets see goals.
Journal- events and food and exercise.
Stay commited. Commit to it people!
Recopy notes and stay caught up in school. alive awake alert enthusiastic.
Dont sucumb to momentary grievences- have faith in yourself and your relationships. Perspective and focus.
Smile. even when it hurts.
dont let things ferment- swallow.
Ride. Run. Yoga. To school. because it feels good. Strength.
stay organized. its hard spending life in the future, but worth it when you finally reach the present.
ok break!
Spring Together (not break)
Anyway, I swing by Candice's endearing little apartment just off central, across from Albuquerque's largest indoor carting track to pick up two $11.94 walmart fishing poles- just in case. Just in case i have to tie a piece of granola or dark chocolate pound plus bar to it and dangle it in front of Alex's face to get him up a mountain or out of bed. She also imparts on me any perishables- including lettuce... eggs... basically matching the groceries I had just bought- it was like my rendition of Vegas and I had just doubled my winnings! Chu-ching! line you pockets with that.
Did everything but Sat-urday.
After a long stressful week and very little sleep I drag Alex out of bed at 7:30 am (that is 6:30 CA time) and down to the YMCA for Yoga. Of course all the way there, out of his own clever wit and probably sheer exhaustion, Alex goes on and on about how downward dog will be downward face-plant and shows off his expertise talking about "upward fish" and the like (having been to one class during high school). Annette hands us an extra mat and as I try hard to center my chi I cant help but let snickers and small giggles escape as Alex struggles to cross his legs in pre-lotus and resist every urge to push him over in eagle pose- he has surprisingly good balance. After we go to the gym for a quick workout so I can show off my gym and my guns of coarse to Alex, and home for some eggs, sans starchy frozen potatoes (which despite my best efforts to save food "slipped" into the garbage can- how do these things even happen. The red peppers and onions were salvaged. We flipped through the packet I got from the AAPA (who is who is sponsored by AAA (triple A) and is doing work with AA...
Finally with someone with standards greater than my own, and not to mention access into on of those exclusive clubs- costco- I got myself a neeeeeewwww mattress! Boldly deviating from Alex's seven item standard list I purchased some dinner rolls, gallon tank of salsa, and tortillas. He rolled me through the store over to optical on my mattress throne. We tested everyone of the cards in our wallets for holograms under the photo chromatic lens box until it was our turn. With a screw back in my glasses repacing the little silver staple that had been holding them together and alex's bag full of contact lenses we headed out to load a 6 foot mattress into the back of Pheobe the Phord Phocus. The mattress made it home and the old mattress was promptly disposed of. And by that I mean Alex threw it off my balcony. and then tore apart the old wooden box spring- out back, shirtless, hammer in hand, beads of sweat... anyway.
Big day continued as we left the shambled pieces of 1100 hours of restful sleep next to the trash can and took off to sandia peak. Plans to hike to the ridge trail over to the peak were foiled by 6 inches of snow and ice.
These are the pictures from what I woke up to just before my practical exam- I go running out of my house in my shorts and tank top for surface anatomy sketches of the adductor condyle and Tibialias Anterior and have to scrape my car off. I send a message Alex's way as not to expect errr pack more winter less Cancun. Anyway.
Right, with the hike thwarted by slush and ice, we look for alternative means. The tramway is a good $17 dollars out of our price range- but hey! turns out you can just drive to the top. Brilliant. This is why we love America- as discovered you never have to leave your car! We threw my 50% off sleds into the back and headed up the "turquoise trail" on the backside of the sandias. Drove past the dried up ski resort to the top to admire the steal forest and icy ridgeline.
SunnyDay.
After confirmation via radio contact that Bandillier was indeed open, Alex booked us a room in Santa Fe we loaded up the car and headed out. Our first stop of the day was the o so exciting dump to dispose of the broken pieces of my craigslist steal- the mattress and broken down box spring. Astonished by the outrageous price of a whopping $3.60/load Alex wanted to bring everything to the Albuquerque dump. So cheap. life is good out here. easy living for a student funded by the government- a dollar for a dozen eggs, 1 and a half for milk and 3 and a half for the dump.
We took a road out through the Jemez mountains stopping at a rest stop with enormous (but apparent
ly sacred) red canyon walls and continued on following the purple font marked areas of interest according to our road atlas. We stopped to see the jemez ruins, getting in for free curtosy of my albuquerque library card (that makes me a reside
nt right?) And then by soda springs and battle ship rock. We made an official stop (the kind where you actually get out of the car) at the Hot springs where we took a long drawn out path to the pools (could have been shorter if it werent for the daunting barricades cutting off the direct path and forcing us to make excessive switch backs and cross a bridge over untroubled lack of water) anyway jumped into the springs. My first soaking in the natural warmth of natures pools. Alex made his way into the back cave in search of his perfect 110 degree water.
A quick jog back and we were on our way to Bandillier. Which was croooowwwded. The friendly red head at the enterace gave us our week pass and we found parking in uhhh- level 5 isle 4 and took the shuttle in to the front gates- well that was what if felt like- it was packed! The cliff walls were neat though, littered with small holes, ceilings blacked by smoke where frijiole people lived. Alex enjoyed the curving banisters and was glad to have his slick nylon pants on. We checked out the dwellings, the long house, and the one we had to climb a bu
nch of wooden ladders too- which alex did withou
t hands. Then we took the nature trail back and read some plaques about nature, well I just looked at them, Alex probably read them. We followed a family with supermom. Lets go to duck lake, and then the pool. better yet we will dig te pool and then swim in it.
After a quick nap in the car we went to santa fe, stopping to check out a trail we had left to come back to. It was supposed to be a loop, we think. Regardless it was a neat walk up on a mini mesa with cliff dwellings a ladders, and upon slipping up the path, Alex discovered why they even have those latters.
Let it be known that santa fe ceases to exist on sundays and by that I mean what do we eat. In my normal irrational state that I cant seem to help but to be consumed by when my glucose levels drop we drive around looking for anything that is open. Suddenly I begin to think that maybe Santa Fe is not part of America where things are open all the time. Alas we find a restaurant across from Trader Joes and demolish a combination plate- d-lish in my opinion, grab some substance from trader joes to get us through manana and head back to the inn, actually to some well lit block on a neighborhood street- because you shouldn't pay for parking. and walk to Garret's desert inn- which on this sunday night is more like garret's deserted inn that I am wishing was garrets dessert in. We watch what Alex claims to be the most impressive thing he has ever seen on TV aka some bird mating dance on the nature channel. I'll post the Youtube of it later if i can find such a rare footage of the northeastern winged Barnabe performing in all its splendor.
Mounday.
We trek back to the car drop off my rent check at bank of America and cruise up to the fancy homes above santa fe looking for the governors mansion. and instead find a giant ceramic horse head in someones yard- which turns out to be not so unusual, I guess living in santa fe you have to have some huge art sculpture in your front yard. We again park the car on some neighborhood block and make the trek out the the santa fe public library, a favorite spot of mine to toil away the weekend hours. Alex joints across the parking lot for a double latte-cappa-fru-fru cup of joe and comes back on a sufficient caffeine high to crank through a good portion of his research proposal. 5 hours and two veggie bagels deep we take a break to walk around santa fe and up to a monument. Turns out New Mexico is the 47th state. Just a kid. after an afternoon session at the library we head over to santa fe brewing company to meet up with some friends of mine for a Brett Dennon Concert.
What a scene. We are ushered into a parking spot (phew dont have to pay and have tickets) we mistakenly walk to the wrong building. Whatever. After a large delicious hamburger we join the group only to be hushed as the opening band whispers into the microphone. "excuse me everyone, we are trying to have a rock concert" haha. Babys are everywhere strapped to moms stomach and back. I mean its just the normal things you would expect at a bar...Brett Dennon was terribly awkward- but alex made out like a bandit with pockets full of packets of dijon mustard.
Tue the road, tue-the-day, Cheers!
So the road trip begins. I wake up early and make a quick run to the pool for 45 minutes of racing from one wall to the other in a giant fish bowl. I sure do miss that ocean. I come back and we look at the map, pack up, and head out south on 25 to socorro. Not much on this passage and until we crest the mountains and come down into the VLA. and the TLA (three letter acronyms) begin. Alex's personal favorite involves me mooning the camera. I decline. We also abide by the sign that warns us not to use our microwave ovens...
Back out onto 60 we travel into the Gila wilderness. With a quarter of a tank of gas we venture around one of the curviest beautiful mountain roads back into the Mogollon Ghost town- which despite its best efforts to be abandoned was revamped for a western film, and there are still some people there today including hippie lady. Back out, just under a quarter tank of gas we stop at the catwalk, and follow the old mining water pipes into a deep canyon. Further in the trail turned to a "black diamond"- I am not sure it was the caliber of the trail itself or the fact that Alex started grabbing my ankles that made it difficult. The canyon walls were beautiful and you could pick out where the volcanic eruptions had occur ed by the rock layers. It kind of felt like cheating as we marched down secure scaffolding and suspension bridges- as such Alex made his own path back instead of hiking up and over the bridge. And courtesy of the blue circle portion of the path (as opposed to taking the green square back) alex found a way to account for the fact we had to pay a park fee by acquiring a stick. A beautiful stick that I am now stuck with.
Now only an eighth of a tank of gas, well below the recommended level to have by triple A we made our way to silver city traveling through nothing towns including a Pleasanton! Gliding into silver city we find a gas station and the lady recommends a delicious Mexican restaurant and I indulge in a bowl of chicken tortilla soup and a sopapilla! yum. The sun has set and we still need to set camp. Support and comfort from a loved one helps me sleep better despite the cold air, and unlevel ground found in the dark of night in Pinos Altos. Ok so maybe I bought a small tent, and maybe someone ate too much starch. maybe.
When's day?
The sun did eventually rise and we packed up the car and tucked our hands under our butts to warm up for a minute before taking the deer infested road up to the Gila cliff dwellings- lights on for safety! The visitor center was open and we got the low down from ranger. And then cut back to the gila hot springs for some much needed r&r in warm water. It was a funky little seen. Driving down through horses and goats to an artsy fartsy hippie pool scene. But we liked it, waded in the warm water until the cliff dwellings opened. With my cowboy hat on and "canyon companion" in hand we set off on a hike up to the ceremonial dwellings. Only one generation had settled there as while in exile ( from drought) and the ruins were fully intact from 700 years ago. The friendly volunteer guide at the top told us about the T door for someone important (the medicine man cough cough) and the Kiva for spirits to come and go as they wished. These were the most impressive dwellings I have seen and to be able to walk through them without anyone else even there. On the way out of Gila we stopped at the lower scorpion trail to take the "path to the past" another small dwelling a very impressive hanging fence (unlike any I had ever seen before, though I dont think it was an exhibit) and some rock paintings- was the smooth stone where the gila people sharpened their tools??
Headed back out an alternate route I grab some shut eye while alex forges our way out of the wilderness and back onto freeway. And we run right into what is unmistakably santa rita copper mine. huge mounds of perfectly rounded geometrically defined layers of clay and dirt and soil. We pull over to read the placks and look into the inverted mountain. It was neat. That was neat.
We cruise by rock city which were 40 foot pillars and rock statues standing high above the flat ground- it looked a lot like Joshua tree to mee- but just one small outcropping made by volcano. also neat.
Back on the road and on our way to Las Cruces to meet up with my friend sophia and her husband Ben. I already have a room booked at an artsy fartsy inn- if we can find it. The off the beaten path book with directions seems to have found its way off our beaten path and out of sight. Old Mesilla is a real neat little part of Las Cruces- emphasis being on real little- but with the winds howling and our stomachs grumbling we just want to find our hotel- solution visitor center? Ha! a nice but slow and sligtly confused attended writes out some directions and then finally finds us a map- and back out into las cruces. After a couple U turns and winding my way though hallways we find the registration dest and what is apperently the front door- what ever. The room and inn is lovely, big ceilings, dark wood floors, and rediculous people. Despirate for something, but not knowing if it is exercise food or sleep- we dash to the community pool and with only a half hour left of lap swim they let us in for free! Next we grab a little salad and some tuna ( and a cookie from the sample box to tide us over) And finally a moment of shut eye. Dinner is delicious- Tortas at Andeles and frozen custerd. A salsa bar and great company. I certainly had a wonderful evening chatting with Ben about his story and laughing with sophia about new mexico living.
Coming back to the inn we run into the Lundeen's and some nobody guy who knew everybody and was somebody with a jet in santa barabara his face in every commercial and a boat in channel islands who had just busted 4 feet of air in his drained pool even at his age. what can I say.
I once again forced Alex to be social over breakfast- and got a sermen. oy vey. we headed out to white sands before the winds came . Neat place. Neat neat neat. Sand is fun. I miss the ocean. But really. White soft sand piled high. A couple of dune sprints, plenty of pictures, videos of sledding and rolling down, filling all our orphases with gypsum and hiking along the crests amongst the sandy waves. AAAnd the donuts in the parking lot. Note to self, would be a great place to camp, 10 camp grounds backcountry were it not so windy, maybe without the threat of sandpaper ripping the flesh off your legs.
After white sands we made it to alamagordo for fuel- for our car and stomachs, apparently we had to start eating lunch. The long flat plains of the serengetti I mean New mexico streached before us on our way out to carlsbad. Artesia was a neat neat little town with strong sports teams, neat stadium, an old cinema and a wonderful statue. We made it to the carlsbad ranger station just intime for it to close singing some terrible overplayed journey song. Looking out onto the guadalaupe mountains we decided to camp. Camp out on the roof of texas (or the back porch of New Mexico really). Though at first glance the camp site seemed full, we wandered back intot the inner sites and found the best one ever- it even had its own nature trail with blooming cacuts to get to it, it had nice floura around it incuding a cactus and a tree and level ground. We sat and braced ourselves against the wind to enjoy a little dinner and went for a short hike, scoping out guadaloupe peak for the morning. The winds started Howling- rather impressive really. Warm air though so we just set up the tent as a wind block. loud but brilliant protection- wonder how the picnic table turned sideways would have worked.
Friday.
Hampered by the dark sky and still howling winds we held off on the hike until 6:45 when we charged up the path. Switch backs straight up to the peak, an impressive climb and nice trail. We started what Alex claimed might be a new thing for him- "what, morning exercise? " I inquire. "No just hiking up enough to see the peak and then turning back- its good for the mind, builds character" oooo. hahah. We jogged back down the mountain, I am nervous about getting tickets and making it to carlsbad caverns . But 40 minutes later tickets in hand we head down the natural enterance into a huge dark abyss. The ranger at the top told us it was a mile and quarter and to be careful, they regularly have to help people out. And moving down the steep dark ramp its not hard to see why. The impressive cavern walls bellow around us as we sink deeper. We jump on a pretty standard american tour with a courny guide and slow moving folk and way too much information. but THey did turn off the lights forcing us into complete darkness- the darkest of darkness- the total abcence of light. and they keep the lights off. and keep them off while giving the shpeel. I am kinda ready for the lights to come back on. and finally she lights a lighter- and the entire room seems to glow- neat. really neat. All the darkness in the world can't put out the smallest of lights.
Impressed by the amount you are allowed to travel through on your own alex and I check out the hall of the giants, big room, bottomless pit (which was lit on the bottom- poor move by the theatrical department) and some alien looking things. We thought about the life forms that exhist down there from the bats to the insects to the extremophiles. I liked the pools- they were so abolutely clear. It was quite a walk- when I am old i would much rather walk that than the mall. We took the elevator up cruising at a wopping 9 miles an hour and listened to the attendants perfectly timed shpeal.
Phew ok. back through carlsbad for some fuel lunch and mental preperation for the long windy drive home. Long. it was like the five, but farther from the ocean. Homecooked meal, computer party, laundry,and bed. yes please.
Satur-yuppy-day.
Well we yoggied it up again with annette in the crew. Alex is so limber he could kick you. great. After yoga we stop by flying star for some coffee and a muffin- alex gets the ugly muffin. I think he had one too many bites of that ugly muffin... just kidding. I jest I jest. And out to trinity site. I have never seen alex so excited, he is all giddy questioning me on all these things about the atom bomb and war and we are listening to some public radio broadcast old country music "my name is me" and then Elvis for a half an hour until we reach the gates. The keeper warns of the Orak. we both look at him like o yeah- what is an orak? he says eh there an african animal there are like 4,000 of them running around. I assume they are some freak mutant animal resulting from the radioactivity. I read through the literature as we follow the massive caravan of cars out to ground zero. We pass an old instrumention site and finally park amongst 100s of others. we walk up and see jumbo- alex's mind is clearly racing with excitment as he is telling me to move here, look there, stand over there, get a picture here, block those people. Finally I get into the whole thing as we find trinite- small pieces of rock that were glazed over and had a glassy finish from when the bomb was detinated. He shoots some fabulous pictures of the fat boy casing, jumbo, the rock monument, and even the signs and pictures. We hop on board the bus to the ranch house where the bomb was assembled and reflect on the fact that the bomb was assembled in some abandoned ranch house. Einstien's letter to the president was posted on one of the walls. That one is still resonating with me- I get that it was Einstien and all- but it was just really quite a letter.
It was a big day. Full of puns and sound effects- though I think some where wasted on me as Alex when on about dropping a bomb on ground zero when he came back from the bath room. How the site was so cool it was the bomb. How the traffic blew. I dont even know.
The big day continued as coming back into Albuquerque we stopped at Thrift town. PHENOM. I mean phenominal. I got my red cowboy boots, alex got shirts shorts and gifts galore! Againg to sunflower for some supplies home for a hike food and just being.
Sunday.
Alex is down typing away- finishing up he proposal. I am upstairs- writing this. and chaising away the lingering sent of his fart- if he trying to make me not miss him it wont work. I love him too very much and had too wonderful of a time farting around this land of enchantment together. It was a wonderful spring together (as opposed to a spring break).