And thats the answer that got you into medical school.

Today we were drilled on why we want to be PAs by a new round of professors getting to know us. Most replied because they want to be able to diagnose and treat without the level of responsibility of a doctor. But why is it so important to be able to diagnose and treat? Why? "Because" I pipe up, "Because it can be really scary to be sick. To be physically weak and emotionally worn out by disease and not know what is going on inside you or how to fix it. And I want to be there to alleviate the pain and anxiety that accompany illness- to be able to tell the patient what is going on and how to fix it. diagnose and treat. To educate the patient and share the little bit of magic I have in my pocket. Doctors can be intimidating and removed- iscolated by years of education and an enormous gap in salary. I wanted to be a PA because I want to be able to diagnose and treat, educate and comfort. "
I didnt say this during my interview- frankly because it didnt fully hit me until now why this is so important to me.
One of my professors in the very first week told us he was going to teach us to be more than ordinary. That people come to the doctor for healing powers because when feeling physically weak and out of control and you dont want joe the plumber; you want someone with a little bit of magic in their pocket. I want to learn that magic.

Ultimately I want to teach, but not before I am hardened by years of experience and perspective and legitimacy to bring to the classroom.

Today was good. Long. strange schedules three days of long one short and three off. I think I will start volunteering at planned parenthood again. I am getting restless.

grabbed a scoop of ice cream and walked clear across town in my cowboy boots to the UNM library during my break. walked back bare foot. what an interesting phenomenon, responses you get to approaching the world shoeless. A man in a golf cart offered me a ride. and the dude outside the coffee shop applauded me, while the rest staired in either understanding as they saw my still to be broken in red leather cowgirl boots hanging stiffly in my left hand, and others in disapproval.

I am sitting in the second row again. second to the back that is. well second to the front as well. The entire weeks meals have been deposited in the fridge at school. lunches and dinners. salads. beans and rice.

Class is going to be alright though. crazy funny epidemiology teacher who dresses like a train conductor and is a "B-string surgeon" in Nigeria. I would like to go there and help.
Sometimes I am a bit nervous that I am going to have to make big time choices, I am nervous that what I kinda do want will be put on the back burner. torn between amazing opportunities.

The fortune cookie today read "It is never crowded on the extra mile" that's a nice one.

happy trails. need to become a gym junkie.